Looking Forward.

I think about the future a lot.

I think about graduating.

I think about camp next summer.

I think about going home in May.

I think about going to India in April.

I think about going to the beach in three weeks.

I think about getting my kids through the rest of the quarter.

I think about school tomorrow.

God has got it all planned.

Sometimes I get impatient and I just want it, the future, to be happening now

I want to be graduated so I can go out as a missionary again.

I want camp to start tomorrow!

I want to feel ready to go home when it comes time.

You get the point.

I don't know what God has planned.

He worked it out for me to be in the right place this year.

I have been blessed beyond measure, it's a my cup runneth over type situation. And I am excited to know where I will be led next.

On Sabbath the four of us SMs went out with Gary and Sharon [principal and husband] to floating villages two hours from Phnom Penh.

These communities are Vietnamese speaking little to no Khmer, rendering my small knowledge of Khmer useless.

They take everything from the water. It is their drinking water, bathing water, dish washing water, bathroom water.

We were asked to sing for special music after church had already started and like good little SMs we said yes.

It was mostly kids that came for the service and after church ended they all jumped into boats to paddle home. These tiny little kids! Oh my goodness.

A few kids stayed behind , including one beautiful little girl, who came up to me and put her arms around me. We hugged and spun in circles, and danced until we left. I've never been so sad to leave anyone.

As we were leaving one of the adults asked how old I was. I said twenty-one. And she replied with the one Vietnamese phrase that I know, very beautiful.

We visited another church and again we sang and Gary preached. It was quite warm and we hadn't eaten. We all had some trouble staying awake.

The third church of the day was at the home of the pastor we had been with all day. It was a twenty minute boat ride to his home. Through quite an extensive neighbor hood on the water. Not a lot of white visitors come through there and it was a little like being on parade, waving a little kids and grown men stopping their activities to watch us go by.

This church, like the first, was mostly kids. The pastor's wife had started a literacy program to teach the children to read Khmer, so they study during the week and come to church on Sabbath.

After church we sat down on the floor to eat. I scooted over to the large doorway and watched the water and the people go by. I thought about what life might be like to be a missionary here. Working with kids, struggling and growing right along with the people.

We've visited a lot of churches so far during my time here and we'll visit more. But I haven't connected with any of them like I did with this.

Maybe it was because it is so different from anything, maybe it's a calling.

Back in the truck on the way home, the boys were asleep in the back, and Olga and I were talking with Gary and Sharon about the day.
Gary mentioned that they have been thinking about submitting a call for an SM to come to the floating village and teach English.

And I wondered to myself, is this what You have planned?

As I look to the future, I wonder were I'll end up next.

I get impatient and I question every choice, every turn. I forget to surrender. I forget to breathe.

I want to graduate so I can go out again.
This I know.

It might mean a floating Vietnamese village in Cambodia, or the Muslims in the north, or even somewhere else in the world, but I'm ready.

I'm looking forward to service, I'm looking forward to LIFE.